Finding the right therapist will probably take some time and work, but it’s worth the effort. The connection you have with your therapist is essential. You need someone who you can trust—someone you feel comfortable talking to about difficult subjects and intimate secrets, someone who will be a partner in your recovery.
Therapy won’t be effective unless you have this bond, so take some time at the beginning to find the right person. It’s okay to shop around and to ask questions when interviewing potential therapists.
- Experience matters. One of the main reasons for seeing a therapist, rather than simply talking to a friend, is experience. Look for a therapist who is experienced in treating the problems that you have. Often, therapists have special areas of focus, such as depression or eating disorders. Experienced therapists have seen the problems you’re facing again and again, which broadens their view and gives them more insight. And for some problems, such as trauma or PTSD, seeing a specialist is absolutely essential.
- Learn about different treatment orientations. Many therapists do a blend of orientations. However, it’s a good idea to learn about the different treatment types, because that can affect your therapist’s way of relating and suggested length of treatment.
- Check licensing. Credentials aren’t everything, but if you’re paying for a licensed professional, make sure the therapist holds a current license and is in good standing with the state regulatory board. Regulatory boards vary by state and by profession. Also check for complaints against the therapist.
- Trust your gut. Even if your therapist looks great on paper, if the connection doesn’t feel right—if you don’t trust the person or feel like they truly care—go with another choice. A good therapist will respect this choice and should never pressure you or make you feel guilty.
Questions to ask yourself when choosing a therapist
What’s most important in a therapist or counselor is a sense of connection, safety, and support. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Does it seem like the therapist truly cares about you and your problems?
- Do you feel as if the therapist understands you?
- Does the therapist accept you for who you are?
- Would you feel comfortable revealing personal information to this individual?
- Do you feel as if you can be honest and open with this therapist? That you don’t have to hide or pretend you’re someone that you’re not?
- Is the therapist a good listener? Does he or she listen without interrupting, criticizing, or judging? Pick up on your feelings and what you’re really saying? Make you feel heard?
Types of therapy and therapists
There are so many types of therapies and therapists; it might feel a little overwhelming to get started. Just remember that no one type of therapy is best, any more than any style of car is best. It all depends on your individual preferences and needs.
It is true that certain techniques are more useful than others in dealing with specific types of problems (phobias, for example). But in general, research about the “best” type of therapy always reaches the same conclusion: the philosophy behind the therapy is much less important than the relationship between you and your therapist.
If you feel comfortable and trusting in that relationship, the model of therapy, like your car, is just the vehicle that will help you move ahead to lead a more fulfilling life, regardless of the circumstances that brought you to therapy.